procrastinator

I need to buy that book. Even now Im procrastinating.
Its like..I cant do anything til the last minute. i never want to do anything but just chill w/ Garrisen, plan random stuff for the future, & like..watch movies or just google random stuff.
iu feel like i just wanna live in my own world & not do anything productive. especially not school. Im so behind. i have a paper due in two weeks that I dont even know how to write. online classes are hard because you have to be a self starter and i struggle with that
i wanted to start getting uo early & doing work til a certain time like i had school monday & friday but dang i always have an appointment or something to freaking do on those days. i cant wait til next weekend we're going to dallas. i need to make sure all my work is done before we leave because i dont want to do any of it while im there
its like i wish i could just work and worry about that and then free time would really be free time instead of "ok now time to do everything else" time.
and there salwyas so much because i choose to pretend its actually free time and the work i didnt do is just habing over my head,
right now i feel really fat.
i was supposed to start a new diet yday & new workout plan but i didnt workout yday & im not working out today so i feel like im not going to make any progress and its annoying. i wanted to wakeup at like 10 today and go to the gym at 11 but i didnt wake up til 12 & went to work at 130. nothing. most unproductive day ever even at work. i dont have my meds i have to make a stupid appt to see the datgum psychiatrist just to get a freaking perscription.
i dont want to see them. i want my meds.
so its been about 3 wks that i havent had my concerta. really really wack.
i think having it will surely help,
im supposed to be doing work right now. i just wish i didnt have to do it
writing freaking articles
and school.
just annoying
food helps.
and so does spending money. so just keep doing that,
its hard to diet when you feel so fat but i guess thats the point.
i feel horrible about myself lately i bought some new makeup trying to feel pretty but i still feel ugly inside. went to church on sunday and could barely pay attentione even though the message was good,
ill kep praying. i really need help cause im low down