leave me the fuck alone

please excuse my language. i find myself cursing more and more these days.
im back to being easily angered and impatient. mississippi was such a peaceful, good experience for me. not having to work or do school work. just..doing whatever i wantd to do was so nice. no deadlines or anything. it was bad as far as me being in shape but whatever it was worth it to feel inner peace.
now its like anything that doesnt go my way puts me in a bad mood but in my defense on my off days when i really just want to cherish the time i have
1) it goes by lightening speed so i feel like i only have a few hours off
2)theres always a thousand things to do anyway
3)i havent gotten to do one fucking thing i wanted to do and instead have been bossed around by this fucking boy.
everything wsith him is a rush. and hes so motherfucking bossy
and when im in a bad mood
fucking shit juust leave me the fuck alone
never ever in his entire life will he just leave me alone id have been better off just continuing to run because coming back in here he a;lways ,makes it his problem. i didnt get to get my tattoo yesterday. i did not fucking want to drive all the way to sandras and sit over there and all this fucking shit but he was so adament about it then i had to fucking go back today. by the time i worked out the fucking day was over.
got damn like can i have a day off i feel like i literally need to leave this fucking house on my days off & just go anywhere else in the world so he cant control every fucking thing
he will never change dude seriously
i need to stop daydreaming about marriage & babies & keep myself in reality
cause i mean he even said hes just gunna pick out a ring he likes for my engagement?
reallyy
? i swear to God he doesnty give a fucking damn about anyone but himself
and he just is so motherfucking closed minded its so damn annoying. i just wanna stay here and enjoy the rest of college without being heartbroken until i get a better job or higher position and can afford my own apartment and the gym membership and just the expensiveness of singlehood and then im just gunna have to end this shit
sorry but i dont believe he will ever even improve
seriously
deep down hes still a fucking dictator
im just tired of getting fucking jipped and not one motherfucking thing going my way
i spent 3000 motherfuckling dollars at vitamin shoppe. we were supposed to get our pointas of the fucking second now i gotta wait til mid january? i need my fucking SUPPLEMENTS GOOOOOOOOOOTOTTT DAMMMNNNNIIT!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT MY SHIT WHEN I WNAT IT I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF HAVING TO LIVE MY LIFE AROUND EVERY FUCKING BODY ELSE GOT DAMNIT!!

i have to wait 2 weeks to get my damn tat done
and then do another session
so all together its lookin like 600 dollars.

but i did make an appt to get my lips done next monday yay :)

got my appts set up. i feel better
just gunna try to keep savin as much money as possible & i need to make a plan for my running & not overshoot.
like 2 long days a week and 3 short days
something like that
so i wont feel like crap when i dont get it right
& just be patient with the losing weight thing
im not eating a lot so i ought to be okay
eventually my body will improve
& ill be done with ym tattoo
i just need to learn patience
and to hide my anger since i apparently cant express it to him.