nothing is ok

im being really mean to my little brother right now i didnt spend any time with him today because ive been locked in my room since i got home. i finally left to go get some girly things from ulta (the only thing that brings me ANY joy right now) and when i come back im feelin good and somewhat happy because me and idiot #1s convo actually ended well. i told him i WAS mad at him and that i didnt workout cause i went to see him and then i just came home and locked myself in my room and i felt horrible and it was all his fault and he said "sorry:(" and i said fix it and he said how and i said idk figure it out and he said well you left my room and went home so im kind of stuck on how to fix it and i said "well you better figure it out because you made me cry and thats a big nono and if you dont fix it im going to cry in front of you which is the worst fate a man can suffer because i am the saddest cryer in the world! figure. it. out. " and he said okay ill figure something out. promise. or something like that ill look it up. anyway yea it made me feel a lot better. then all of a sudden the ex texts me telling me we have to pay rent tomorrow AND I CANT. I DO NOT EVEN HAVE THAT MONEY RIGHT NOW I TOLD THIS MOTHERFUCKER A MONTH AND A HALF AGO I WASNT PAYING THIS MONTHS RENT AND HE DID NOT EVEN WORK HARD TO GET OUT OF THAT APARTMENT HES JUST CHILLIN. i am like so stressed God PLEASE help me im trying so hard to enjoy the little things and just enjoy life but every single thing in my life BUT this house is stressing me. relationships suck work sucks im failing in school everything sucks like i suck at everything right now NOTHING is okay. and im so mad at him for this i wanted us to be cool but what needs to happen is i need to go get all my stuff out of there and never talk to his ass again. im just so tired of this i cannot wait until i can just look around and breathe and feel like everything is alright. instead of feeling like every aspect of my life is in jeopardy and i dont have anything to make me feel better or anything to lean on and im just like ...fuck im so tired. im so tired of this. it feels like its been forever and im livin g under a storm cloud that wont go away and im waiting for sunny season. been waiting a while so far this whole year has sucked ass.