Just Shitty in general

Cried. took another nap. then I woke up texted him I had calmed down and I hoped he had a good day. then he said he hoped I did too. I told him I never wanted to stay home. that I was stressed and he can hurt me easily because hes usually my day maker and I missed that. and he said you can still come over so I said do you want me to. ive texted him 2x since then. its been an hour and a half. called him too. cause it the time it was 430. could've been there by 6. now its 545. probably not even worth it if he texts me at freaking 7. :( this is so horrible. I didn't want to spend easter like this how did I go from a hapy healthy relationship to this bullshit. he is so unfair. makes me SO sad. now im going to be sad tonight. and sad all week. and just...this is bullshit. I wish this person wasn't part of him. idk how to feel better. guess I have to take my phone off loud. and just accept that im gunna be studying tonight. ill have my tutoring apt tomorrow. and work all fucking day. I mean...honestly. like..i know if I did go over there we wouldn't just be together. I don't even know what to say to him. he has single handedly destroyed EVERYTHING. and im the one suffering. what the fuck is he doing :( im so sad. God help me. theres no hope for him. I am so sad.