he did respond...but I said no.

I'm done. He's useless. I do still have feelings for him but I don't believe in him anymore and I want the feelings to go away I dont want to continue to have them. I dont want anything to do with him. And i don't want to get unmad at him in a few days and miss him. I don't ever want to miss. him. i saw the little blocked sign and i clicked it and he said okay you can come over if you really want didnt you say you were going to your dads i just didnt want you to come all the way over here for such a short stay and i was like i just wont. theres no point. and he was like ok sorry and i said whatever and he said i dont know why youre mad what do you expect from me and i said "at first, COMMON DECENCY. but now? absolutely nothing. im not mad at you im mad at myself. turns out im the idiot. " and i dont really remember exactly how the rest went it wasnt too long but it ended in "cause i am seriously seriously seriously over this shit." like. no. i didnt want to. at all. and i was happy i ddint want to it was relieving for once to see him for what he really is. and stip fucking filling his head and trying to coax him to be a better person FUCK IT be the asshole that you are. i dont want it anymore. i dont want a bullshit ass relationship that takes all this motherfucking work. i pray i move on first i dont want to see anything from him. ever. like i dont want to know what hes doing or who hes fucking with i dont want to know anything about his life i want to forget we ever met. i hate that in my mind i cant even fucking move on because no one compares to him. but this motherfucker placed no motherfucking value on what we had. to him it was just sex and a good time. and he KNEW the whole time AAGAIN what i wanted i made it very clear THE WHOLE TIME and he was so sweet until i finally started to trust him then the old ways came out and i dont like that person. maybe in the beginning he was faking. maybe the niceness is just fake and the asshole is real. if thats the case then i want nothing todo with him. i dont have anyone to turn to no one can make me feel better im just sad and hurt and fucking pissed off. you fucking asshole. youre a fucking asshole. i hope his night at work sucks. i hope its cold as fuck and i hope he feels like he STOLE that jacket i bought for him. i hope its boring as heck and no one talks to him. and i dont care. i dont care i look at that phone to see if hes saying anything to me and hes not and I DONT CARE. i dont fucking want to talk to you you scum motherfucker damn you for what you have done to me and how much youve hurt me and how you just keep doing it. damn you. seriously. damn you. i cant even look at anyone else. all i see is that theyre not as attractive as him or their body doesnt compare. i mean he really fucked me up. not only can i not get over him i cant even move on i hatethis shit right now i wish i could wake up and this month would have passed because by God I will enter 2014 without any thoughts of this motherfucking asshole. im going to have to remove every reminder of him from every place in my life. that means telling everyone around me that its over and im fine so they wont bring it uip and thank God we dont have any true mutual friends because i wont have to hear about him or know what hes doing im going to unfollow his sister shes not following me anyway his family clearly doesnt want much to do with me. maybe not. in the past when i deleted everything and everybody i regretted it. if he starts posting shit on fb which he never does ill just block his posts not him. i dont want to burn bridges. but basically yea i kinda do. im just so sick of this fucking bullshit. hes fucking retarded like how selfish can you be. really how motherfucking INCONSIDERATE. can you be. its just crazy. and im so sick of it it's not even fucking funny like. it doesn't even matter if im over it he doesnt give a fuck. i just want to be like him and not care. fuck it. im going to my dads. and im returning that motherfucking jacket and getting my damn sixty fucking dollars back. man. Thank you God for not letting it fit. 20 bucks is nothing. i just dont want to be around people cause i know theyre going to ask me about it and i do not want to talk about it. at all. i still have to decide if i want to cancel this christmas party i kinda do. cause if i do i can just go over to my dads for basically the whole weekend and that will at least be something for me to do. fuck/.