Since then....things are getting better and better 11/30

I PRAY they stay this way. but Im starting to believe we can get through anything. God is definitely on our side and hes working for my heart right now. I couldnt be thankful enough. ok..ill get back to the in between details. right now though....SNAP CHAT. I LOVE SNAP CHAT. its ten times better than texting he sends me adorable pics and ideos and says stuff he never says in texting and i look forward to them every night when were not together and he goes to work it makes me so happy. he just sent me a video cause i told em i had a headache and he was so adorable hes like "You didnt tell me you had a headache im sorry (did an adorable pouty lip here) i do hope you feel better but guess what its almost tmrw! (exclamatory expression)." this morning he sent me one of him cooking breakfast. snapchat has really helped like things were already going great. i didnt know if wed even be using snapchat once i got it but he snapchats me all the time and hes just so sweet now. its really reminded me why i fell for him in the first place his amazing personality. he's so funny. i swear. he has his issues. but dont we all. hes really trying to work through them and hes leaning ON me instead of running from me. he tells me everything now i love it. well we tell each other everything. we have convos about our opinions and like idk sometimes they differ and we just like hear eachother out. he teaches me about steroids and bodybuilding and everything. i think im going to let him get me on some stuff not steroids but some anabolics to help me gain muscle and get rich. of course like we been texting and snap chatting for...like...half an hour now he stops idk why i didnt say anything. its so nice now i can speak my mind and be me as over the top as i may be or whatever im thinking and im always scared but every time he DOES text me back and ive like been suspiscious or like had an issue in the past bc he wasnt and i try to end it before he does and he never wants to. so like idk ever since thanksgiving..the day before i remember thinking things might be over soon. like because of me. he just was getting to be a lazy pothead just totally different from the boy i first met. and it was crazy like it just didnt feel the same. i would still get super excited to go see him but he was just always high and like idk...lazy. and i just was getting tired of it. and i couldnt see it going anywhere which was sad. but i was like im goin gto stick it out while he gets back on his feet. and be there for him like he was for me and more for when he wasnt. but yea like i prayed about it. just asked for God will like I have been this whole month and He has answered EVERY time. Corey has improved So much like...he really is showing me the person I believed he was. Like even though he has been treating me a million times better and making me feel appreciated I still would get anxiety every time he wouldnt text me back thinking that he was going to break things off . and id just walk around with anxiety all the time because like i just felt like he didnt really like me and i was having SO MUCH TROUBLE trusting him. for a lot of reasons. mostly the fb thing. like when i posted the pic he untagged himself i told em i was gunna drop it but that to me was shady. i made him promise me he wasnt hiding me from anyone and he did. but like yea the anxiety persisted. then i just wokeup thanksgiving day without the anxiety. i just felt peace. like finally i could trust him. and like idk he texted me happy thanksgiving which was nice then like i wasnt ewxpecting to talk to him all day but he texted me at 130 saying his dad bailed on him and went to conroe with his new family and his mom was like too drunk. so like i went with my dad and family and got him food and took it over there. he was super appreciative. we only got to see eachother for like 2 hours but we got some good sex in lol and like...i just love being with him. he didnt want to go to work. i didnt think i'd like him working this new job but hes not inside at all its not like he goes and i dont talk to him til he gets off i talk to him the whole time its actually way better than when he doesnt work he snapchats me all night lol but hes gotten a lot better about texting me back too. im pretty sure its just cause his feelings are very strong now. i feel safe like we talk about everything. i mean i was irritated because he gets all the head and sex and handjobs everything he wants and he keeps on with the anal shit but like he doesnt even touch my vagina with his gands ya know. so as weird as it felt i prayed about it and God answered that one too! i didnt know what else to do and I have been turning to him for everything and ive really not been relying on people just him and its been amazing,. so thats what I did I prayed and miraculously it came up in conversation and he was like eager to talk about it and get it out in the open and was so like..idk just problem solvy about it. as i did with anthony running my mouth i made it seem like i didnt like it and thats why he didnt do it. but i told em i did. and he was like would you like me to eat you out i was like maybe. then he said lets start with the hands because hes never "gone down on a black bitch: -__- foreal doe? sometimes the shit that comes out of his mouth is just fucking ridiculous. but yea anyway so on thanksgiving he tried the hand shit the day we talked about it nothig really changed. i still have to keep doing the lube treatments with my applicators. which is ridiculous. but whatever. i might start doing it like nightly. itll be expensive but my shit is just always dry and im sick of it. i have to do it everytime before i go over there. it works though from the time being i just miss the days when i didnt have this issue i mean i never had this issue before garrisen maybe its like because hes all rough about it. which feels good when its all lubed up but you cant feel anything when its not. if he would eat me out though gah i hate saying that i didnt realize what a thing it was bc garrisen did it every time and he always wanted to. it was a nice luxury now that i think about it but yea if he would do that then it would definitely help but i know hes not comfortable with it right now. but idk like it just feels like a real relationship now