God have my heart, let me move on

It was such a great week
went shopping today & got some really cute stuff
& im ready for church tomorrow
had my cheat day
definitely ready to go back to eating healthy for sure.
but, being around sonny..
the devil child is talking to this girl i know.
shes pretty
& his ex is still having his baby
& he loves her.
& it hit me
i cant fully commit to God when my heart is with
this boy.
i have to let go. & tell God im ready to b strong & move on
im not lonely, im not
i think if i had anyone else
i wouldnt be worried about him
it just..he gets to move on
& i know i wont
& as right the path i feel i took may be..
& as wrong as he still is
it just..bothers me. cause it feels like he won
but i refuse to believe that God will just let him do it.
I know that being good is the right thing
in my heart i know
so it just shows me that if im still feeling this
like..the fact that he hates me & still thinks im evil
i feel..not pretty
& just...unwanted ya know
but i wont give up hope
i know my dream is waiting for me I know God is in control
he sees what is happening here & hes not sleeping on it
I know hes doing magical things I dont know about
to better me & give me a future
Jeremiah 29:11
I know theres no reason for me to cry. Someone loves me.
its disrespectful to Him for me to sit worrying about the ONE person
that doesnt like me
when so many people do
& when im actually happy without em
i have to give thanks & just stay on the path
it just shows me im not ready
im not a butterfly yet
im still influencible
i gotta get stronger
so i just need to stay to myself
& focus on my responsibilities & growing in Christian character.
I dont wana hurt. dont wanna waste one more day
so from now on, once & for all
i am giving up on this boy.
not for all hes done, but for the fact that he has no love for me
its time to be a big girl & go on with my life
i cant replace him or do any of that I just have to turn to God
its over. i get it.
its time for me to let go. & let God.