just one of those days

i really do hate days like this,
tried to go to the rec
i cannot even describe to you how many people were there i almost burst into tears
i cannot do that mutlitude of people like come on..
i go to the gym to get away from ppl i hate it when its crowded i just left
that shit is just an anxiety attack
i feel like crap right now im not gunna lie i feelso freaking bad
so alone but i dont wanna be around random people wtf
no.
theyre like ants. SWARMING i want them away from me
i hate these lows. i feel like im gunna die. seriously
what a horrible day
now i gotta workout in the mornings because the rec is going to be filled to the brim with thousands of people i just cant do it sorry.
i like working out at the end of the day. a lot. but w/e.
guess ill go in the mornings :( i could go real late at night. like i probably will at like 10 tonight. but i dont like that really.
this is gunna throw off my routine. a LOT. but w/e.
ugh. i gotta just chilkl for a minute i need to calm down.
didnt get my meds. didnt get some of my books. too many errands & the rain made everything difficult. it was just one of those days. but i dont want a random rest day. i want to workout. so i guess since i dont gotta go to work til 12. i was planning on working out after and going to tutoring before. i guess ill switch it.
wakeup @ like 930 & go workout at 10. then come back & get ready for work.
& on the days when i go to school guess ill workout at 9.
its probably better. ill never see door #2 again (which i did just now)
or have to deal w/ anyone else and im pretty sure it wont be crowded at all
idk what this transition is...
but im just gunna hold onto my faith & know God can help me no matter how crazy i feel. deep breaths.