cant stop writing lol and its not bad!

GAH. I JUST CANNOT TELL YOU HOW GOOD IT FEELS TO HAVE NO MORE FUCKING ANXIETY. God is amazing. sometimes he answers prayers like word for word! I mean..WOW. I remember praying like God I don't want to have anxiety anymore. maybe all of this nonsense was worth it cause I think it made him realize how much he cares and that he doesn't want to cut me off. and like I remember at dinner on my bday night I asked him I was like so were you like just fine last week with us not talking at all was it just easy for you were you just chillin and he was like shaking his head and saying no and it was in a way like.."not at ALL" so like he missed me too. I mean he texted me when he wokeup today and we were just talking. small talk. whatever. and like about work. and he asked me about dustyn. and like [wow someone just reported my picture on fb and I think it was scam? really? wow. all It was was me on the bed in a bikini. no provocative pose. no nothing. dear Lord. I guess Ill keep the good stuff for instagram. a-holes] ANYWAY yea but like now hes taking a while to respond and there was a time when I would've been like ah did I go too far? cause I told him I had bruises on my knees from him banging me around on the side of the bed and hes like lmao on your knees? and I said yes :( its not funny you abuse me! lol and he didn't respond immediately but now I know what he does all day. he worked 6 to 2. then he probably ate and went to workout. now hes probably either napping, hanging out with Aziz or areeb. or just chillin. im just not like...now that I finally know how he feels about me im not insecure about it at all. cause I mean he wouldn't have had me come over and meet his mom and his family and his friends and workout with him etc and spent 24 hours with me after spending the night before with me if he didn't really really really like me too. yea I think his ass is sleep. I gotta study anyway I have another anatomy test and haven't been to one class. boo lol 830 just isn't happening lol but anyway okay sooooo yes im just happy. I feel really good. hopefully ill get to see him again this weekend. this time ill bring my food. I want to be amazing like him. earlier I wanted pizza but I didn't. and I haven't eaten any cookie butter. its just not worth it. not if I wanna be pro. but yea thank you God. I loooooove how things have turned out. it was a long hard road but it looks likethings are about to start getting better. we'll have our ups and downs but as long as we stay together im okay. I love him to death and if he ever says he loves me too it will just be awesome. awesome awesome awesome.