Heartbreak is a bitch

i get on facebook.
and hes back with his ex
i knew it. but i didnt believe it
i blocked em.
really?
like, if you knew half the shit.
i hate how reality is like this thick air around you. like a cloud of situational facts. if those facts just happen to be really negative, its like this thick black cloud. and you have to walk around with it all day. especially if theyre not facts, the possibilities are worse.
there are 2 possible circumstances.. that r killing me.
ill find out tomorrow if either is true.
id rather one than the other.
one is just..unfortunate but a quick fix,
the other..would be a nightmare. an expensive, forever scarring nightmare.
a memory i never wanted to have.
i realize i brought this upoin myself.
but my transgressions were out of weakness, not wickedness.
an unconscious attempt to keep someone, at your own detriment,
his..were conscious..spiteful...wicked.
there is no evil in me.
but there is in him.
& io had my opportunity to try to retaliate.
i made a conscious decision not to.
so at this point its in God hands.
what can i do?
heartbreak is a bitch.
& nothing in the world can help you.