if you only knew

i know its not a movie.
the things that go through my head are delisuonal to say the least
and i doubt it even similar to the thoughts he has
if he has any thought of me at all
but i saw him today,
subconsciously i think i did it on purpose
hes still beautiful.
its crazy. if he knew how i REALLY felt
you cant tell by how i act, or the lack of things ive said
but i miss him.
& i just wanted to text em so bad
or run up behind em
put my hands over his eyes and say guess who
but im not blind
i know hed be disgusted and probably roll his eyes and walk away
cuss me out or something else you do to someone you abhor
what a shame
a damn shame at that
that someone i want so bad, i have to pretend to hate
the games we play
she has him
i have no one
but to be honest today was a good day
i didnt cry
i didnt show any emotion at all
i just went on about my day
if he only knew.
but thats how REAL life is,
when you dont tell people
they NEVER know.
you just watch your heart walk away with them
and its a piece that you never get back
thats the worst part
NEVER knowing.