Happy With What I have...But its time to Choose

i mean. idk its nice to be able to tell him positive things too. im happy with how things are and im going to choose to appreciate what i have instead of obsessing over what i dont cause it hurts pretty bad to just have nothing from him. it hurt. really really bad. this is what i missed. talking to him and knowing id get a response. openness. him trusting me and letting me in. i missed being able to hangout with him. and kiss him. and even though it means so much to me and so little to him. is he texting me right now GO TO SLEEP BOY. let me read. it does suck that he wont ever say i do still like you. or saying hey you never know it might be you. or like... dont worry about me being with someone else. he never ever reassures me but at leas hes honest and doesnt just tell me what i want to hear. if he ever does say anything ill know he means it. cause hes always honest with me. but yea. i mean...this is reality. i accept it. got no choice. it helps me a lot that he doesnt lead me on though i wish he still had feelings for me. im just going to be me. and stay sweet and be there for him. and he knows how i feel. whats meant to be will be. i just gotta focus on my goals and just..enjoy the good while its good and remember it when its not so good. he said "thank you :) youre probably the sweetest person ive ever met. lol seriously. but i cant complain. Youve been awesome to me and such a great friend. thanks for being there for me always. i want to be there for you also." idk i mean. ill take it. at least if things change ill be able to notice. i mean sometimes i feel like he still likes me just because of the way he kisses me and the way it is when we have sex. and how we cuddle. and that he wants me to like spend the night and he like is willing to see me regularly. and how we talk all the time. i mean idk. fwbs dont usually...ig uess..as far as the internet says. idk. but really i can only go by what HE says. and he acts like he has no feelings for me. well he doesnt say that but he doesnt like disprove it and he doesnt correct me. sometimes its scary. cause ...idk. but i guess we'll see. im the same person he originally liked. if tings are meant to be he'll get attached. i still think like he would truly want me to move on. and likke if he tried he may not be able to. like it might make him realize he has feelings for me cause he might cmpare them to me. but idk. we',ll see. he knows i still have feelings for him. i dont have to have a relationship. just knowing he felt the same for me and only me would be enough. i dont need pictures or fb status or anything. if i had that...id have everything. i still want it. but im okay with this. i still look forward to talking to him. and seeing him makes my week. we have so much fun and things are so positive. if he were to fall for me. this would be a much more conducive environment in which to do so. thank you God for...everything. night