look to the past for guidance

i crolled back to 2010 to read my posts about langston. it was worse cause he was so evil. but damn all that was over like...a month lol so i do this all the time? it was the same shit this time why do i let myself get so attached. but no its about the same on my ennd. i was ok about a month later but not completely over it still thinking about it. i remember the only thing that really got me over it was brandon. that ended bad too. i dont want a replacement i want to do this the hard way so i can grow and reap the most benefit which i wont do if i distract myself. i want to be strong and not need anyone especially a guy. but yea when someone doesnt want you they just dont want you. i mean its slightly different but you cant forget how you see someone. he wont see me in a different light. he wont miss me. he wont come back. they never do. when you sleep with someone and do a bunch of shit for them and never ask them for anything in return they can never value you. it wont change. i ruined any chance we may have had. so i gotta move on. and let it go completely 200%. may take time but that should be my goal its the only way. :( this is so fucking sad