Valentines day is going to go by just like Christmas

So. I tried to bring it up. I mean hes just chillin with his wallet here. so I was like when r u gunna come get your wallet maybe friday? with a smiley face and he was like actually i need it like tomorrow cause i have a doctors appt on thursday and blah blah that he got a job im like FINE. avoid the subject but im happy for you blah blah. and hes like you actually didnt bring up a subject but ya i get where youre going with a smiley face and an lol and went on to talk about his new job im like omfg. so i said im not smiling or laughing youre being a fuckboy and i said blah blah embedded compliments. and i was like yay youre officially employed we should celebrate. ON FUCKING FRIDAY lol and he hasnt said anything yet. im just going to go ahead and say i told him he could skip vday but not my bday I WASNT SERIOUS and i thought since he asked me when it was maybe he was going to be considerate. and i didnt want to bring it up because i thought he might be wanting to surprise me. but im impossible to surprise. i think too much. i mean. idk. maybe i should just be quiet. he knows now that im thinking about it. which i have been for a long time and especially this week. and i feel like how the FUCK could he let it go by. i looked in the wallet. theres like freaking $100 in 20s in that thing. and he has like nothing he has to spend it on. soooo. i mean a fucking bear, some flowers thats all i want! it really truly is the thought that counts. hes just so thoughtless. i cant get it out of my head the things he did for that ratchet bitch who didnt appreciate him. he was so freaking sweet to her and he told her he loved her. i want that SO bad and damnit i have earned it! he knows if theres any girl in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD that deserves to feel special for one motherfucking day its me. and i feel like im just going to cry myself to sleep tonight. i wont bring it up again. but he has to know. i want to like dress up and have candles and shit. but idk if hes actually going to come through. i wish hed just say he was at least going to come over so i could have like food and decorate and like...it would be a special night. ive never had a special anything since...this whole time really. and thiis is his chance to makeit all up. honestly like if he actually skips it. im definitely going to be mad and disappointed and im not going to hide it. he KNOWS better. he gotto skip it with brooke but she was a bitch. she deserved that shit i do not. my cats are weird. anyway ive prayed. i havent asked for anything but God knows how much it means to me. and ive been talking about it Corey knows too. before the thing with Chris happened we were over i didnt expect anything. but now ... he SHOULD be planning something, i could get like something cheap from walmart...idk. i might do that but i wont like have food etc. cause that would be a waste. at least a bra and panties i could still use. i havea feeling im just going to cry myself to sleep and i absolutely and going to give him a piece of my mind. probably after ignoring him FOR DAYS. and just let him bask in the SHIT he should feel like. i know he works friday but it doesnt matter. i work too. and i get off at 830. and i work early saturday but it doesnt matter. i just dont want to be alone on the day of love dustyn isnt going to be alone and she just met this guy she deserves a great guy but i deserve Corey more because i put in the effort and i dont ask for shit. ugh he wont even answer me back. boo. anway just wanted to have it be fucking known. this means something to me. and it would be the best and only valentines day that ever mattered to me if he would not act like he didnt know that.